White House introduces the ObamaPrompTer.
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| The president equipped with the ObamaPrompTer (currently in Beta). |
In a little publicized speech to healthcare representatives, the White House debuted a cutting edge "cuing device" to assist the busy executive with his public speaking needs.
The ObamaPrompTer, shown here in prototype, is a fully mobile unit that is actually worn on the President's head. No longer will advance staff be required to set up and remove the bulky traditional TelePrompTer units.
Like traditional prompters, the president will be able to read his speeches as reflected upon the unit's glass panels. But the president will now be able to speak while moving about the stage and through the crowd, a la Oprah.
"This innovative unit will make POTUS appearances far more efficient," according to Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. "We consider this new use of green, sustainable technology another promise kept."
The helmet is made from a revolutionary new hemp/kevlar blend which met the rigorous requirements of both the EPA and Secret Service. Version 2.0 may feature hair, with a touch of gray around the temples for a more realistic and dignified look.
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3/9/2009 1:06 AM
The Blog of Record wrote:
It’s a pretty intimate relationship: Obama has relied on a teleprompter through even the shortest announcements and when repeating the same lines on his economic stimulus plan that he’s been saying for months — whereas past presidents ha... -
3/6/2009 5:54 AM
small dead animals wrote:
"I voted for the teleprompter." * Update - streamlining the technology....
When I was a wee lad, the men, about to hook up a team of jackasses (or of mules), put "blinkers"[1] on the animals--seems like a "natural" here.
[1] http://www.ironornamentals.com/images/Worthless/muleblindersLG.jpg
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Version 2.0 will also have the strings so that his handlers will be able to control his movements also! Just don't look behind the curtain.
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Reminds me of the beer helmet I had in college. I'm beginning to think BO would be better off with it, than with the prompter. Hmmm . . . maybe I'll send it to him!
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A super device! It could easily help the Messiah avoid those nasty verbal stumbles and uncomfortable pauses. It serves as a great reminder of the man's true talents. "Never leave home without it!" The ObamaPrompTer just may be this guy's most important contribution. : )
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Walk around with that thing AND chew gum? Too much multi-tasking for the Mocha Jesus.
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Clever. I have a new nickname for Obama — one that NBA fans will enjoy: The Czar of the Teleprompter.
http://infinitemonkeysblog.com/?q=node/6256
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Which leads us to Marv Albert, which could lead us to some mental imagery that is just WAY to disturbing to discuss here.
Or anywhere.
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Send him tea bags instead! 2 per envelope and tied together just like 'real' tea bags.
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Unconstitooshionalisementation!
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Hilarious article.
I think version 2.0 should feature a mustache, trimmed such that it's about 2 inches wide above the center of the upper lip.
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Clearly racist.
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