As you may already know, Exurban League was recently nominated as Weblog of the Year (Small Blog Category). We are deeply honored by the nomination. However, one of our competitors has besmirched our candidacy with scurrilous attacks.

This blogger, who deceptively calls herself "Nice Deb," sadly chose the low road of character assassination. Now, her allies have encouraged her divisive politics of personal destruction.

Since our deeply-held beliefs have been dragged into the public square, let me reveal the induction ritual required of each ExLg contributor. It is deeply regrettable that our sacred rite — the faith of our blogfathers — is being used as a weapon against us. This is exactly the kind of cynical, old-style politics ExLg hopes to change.

To become an ExLg blogger, the aspirant must sacrifice one puppy as a blended offering to Glenn Reynolds (a.k.a. Instapundit). While some secularists find this holy ceremony distasteful, I must offer a few caveats in our defense:

1. Each puppy — unplanned and unwanted, I assure you — was stolen from Michael Vick or DMX's house, and thus saved from a much crueler fate.
2. Aspirants were not required to consume the still beating heart of the beast. (ExTodd did that of his own volition.)
3. The cow costumes are no longer part of the ritual due to a copyright infringement claim by a local Chick-fil-A franchisee.

I apologize if any reader takes offense to this revelation. But let me make one thing perfectly clear: I could no more disown Glenn Reynolds than I could disown my racist preacher.

One other thing I probably should tell you in the interest of full disclosure. After one ExLg acolyte wimped out, I gave his puppy to my two, sweet little girls. They looked at the black-and-white Cocker Spaniel and named it "Checkers." The kids love the dog and regardless of what anyone says, we're gonna keep that scruffy little fella. (Unless it chews on my Allen-Edmonds. Little jerk.)

So, please, vote for hope, change, cute little puppies, old-time religion, and delicious beverages! Vote Exurban League as Weblog of the Year (Small Blog Category)!

This message paid for by Friends of Exurban League for Weblog of the Year Small Blog Category.