Good afternoon, Sen. McCain.

Yes, yes, I saw you on SNL. Not too bad.

Well, I wouldn't say hilarious, but...

No, you didn't look that old, all things considered. Anyway, I wanted to give you some campaign advice. You've done great at casting Obama as the "soft on Iran" candidate.

The Wall Street Journal recently reported that last summer, Illinois Senator Barack Obama told officials in the Teamsters union that he favored ending the Independent Review Board that was created in 1989 by the federal government to rid the union of organized crime. Tommy Vietor, a spokesman for Obama, confirmed the story, saying that the candidate believed that the IRB had "run its course" because "organized crime influence in the union has drastically declined." The Teamsters subsequently endorsed Obama for president, in late February...

There are two reasons to be concerned about Obama's actions here. The first is procedural. Obama's promise to close down the IRB suggests a Bush-like contempt for the customary relationship between government and the judicial process. The president himself can't shut down the IRB. He can only recommend to his attorney general that he recommend to the U.S. Attorney in New York that it be shut down. But in these kind of touchy matters, presidents usually defer to the judgment of their attorney generals. By coming close to promising a shutdown, Obama was putting politics above judicial procedure—which is just the kind of "Washington" behavior that he likes to criticize his opponents for doing.

The second reason for concern is more substantive. Labor leaders have made plausible arguments for shutting down the IRB, but a Chicago politician should be extremely wary of acceding to them. If there is continuing mob influence in the Teamsters, it is probably centered in the Chicago area. And in the last decade, the Teamsters in Chicago have shown little enthusiasm for rooting out corruption in their ranks. As a veteran Chicago politician surrounded by a veteran Chicago campaign staff, Obama had to have known this—and that makes his warm words to the Teamsters all the more disturbing.

No, no, no, don't threaten a Senate investigation. Can you imagine sharing the cameras with Specter and Byrd? Please. And saying "you'll do to Hoffa Jr. what you did to his dad" is just uncalled for. You have to play this one cool.

Who is the biggest anti-mob guy in the nation? Exactly, your buddy Rudy Giuliani. He brought down the mafia in the Big Apple, for crying out loud. So, just ask your pal Rudy to make a big speech in New York and D.C. Not only should he harshly criticize Obama's mob-friendly plan, but he also can tie him to old-fashioned, sleazy politics. Forget that hope-and-change stuff, this is Mayor Daley's voting graveyards all over again. And have Rudy mention old Daley a lot since his son is one of Obama's mentors.

Well, you're welcome, Senator. Glad to help. Now get back on that campaign trail and make all of us proud here in Arizona!

No, I said "Arizona." You know, the state you represent in the Senate?

Yeah, that place next to Mexico.

Stumble It!