"Be healed!"

In Dubuque, Iowa, some people brought to Obama an unemployed union member who was deaf and could hardly talk, and they begged him to place his hand on the man.

After he took him aside, away from the crowd, Obama put his fingers into the man's ears. Then he poured out some Evian and touched the man's tongue. He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, "SOCIALIZED HEALTHCARE!" At this, the man's ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly (mostly about hope, change and the need to stop outsourcing American jobs to Asia).

Obama commanded them not to tell anyone. But the more he did so, the more they kept talking about it. Donations flooded into the campaign Web site.

The Iowans were overwhelmed with amazement. "He’s so handsome and articulate," they said. "He even makes the deaf hear and the mute speak. It’s an Obamiracle!"